Vijay Mallya - The Biggest loooooser of the 21st century

As of 2008 Vijay Mallya was ranked as the 962nd richest person in the world and the 42nd in India with a net worth of US $1.2 Billion. So naturally you may ask - How is he a looser ? (Note - I use loser with a double 'o' , because mallya has taken it to a whole new level.) The only successful business run by him was inherited from his father. This is the business that keeps him afloat. If you take away United Breweries, Mallya would be a bankrupt beggar.

1) Force India F1 - Mallya likes to make most of his business decisions when he is piss drunk. God knows what he was thinking. He paid 88 Million euros for the team, thats around $ 150 million. He is investing a further $ 100 Million in making the Delhi/Noida race track. It will actually be a street race like Monaco. LOL. Imagine a F1 street race in India. I can see the headlines now. All cars fail to finish- first time ever in the history of F1. Two drivers puked their hearts out and died at 300kmph on the bumpy Indian Roads. He acquired the worst team in Formula 1 and did something noone could have imagined- made it even worse. At least as Spykar Ferraris they used to finish races. Now its a big deal if both Force India cars remain in the race after the third turn of the first lap. As far as the track in Delhi goes ...I think a street race can never be successful in India, maintaining the track is just impossible. I dont know how he plans to make the investment profitable. For one thing, to get the crouds will be easy only in the first few years, lets face it F1 is only interesting on TV. I think he will collect toll tax from the drivers during the race. Once every lap. :)
In Fact I blame mallya's Force India Team for driving away FIIs from the Indian Stock Market. We should sue him for using the countries name and bringing disgrace to it.


2) Bangalore Royal Challengers - The whole team strategy goes something like this - Dravid and Jaffer will play solid defense in the first fifteen overs, and then in the last five overs ........THATS ALLLL ... with 9 wickets in hand ....we can hit 200 runs easily. The names that Mallya considered before naming his team were Bangalore KingFishers, Bangalore Bagpipers, Bangalore Old monks, Bangalore Zingaros and Bangalore Sand Pipers. But he went with the Royal Challengers Name cause basically all the teams were putting that 'King' factor in their team names....Rajasthan 'Royals' , chennai super'kings' , 'king's 11 punjab. As I said ...noone likes to put stress on brain when drunk. :) . A word of advice for Mr.Mallya- 30*6 = 180, You drunk bastard.

3) Kingfisher Airlines - Mallya said his airline would break even in 2007 when he launched it in 2005. Now he says it will break even in 2010-12. Industry experts believe he will not get there before 2015 even in the best case. He took a 46% stake in Deccan for Rs.1000 crores, a company with an accumulated loss of Rs.420 crores. In 2006 kingfisher made a loss of 240 crore and in 2007 it made a loss of almost 600 crore. I couldn't find the 2008 loss because it is not a listed company and they don't have to declare results. With rising oil prices and Mallya's knack for burning money, in my opinion it will easily cross the 1000 crore mark. They probably didn't declare results out of overwhelming shame. Last year Mallya looked into the possibility of an IPO. I don't think any investment bank would be dumb enough to touch that company with a stick from 10 meters away wearing a bullet proof suite. With no end in sight, Mallya continues with his "never say die as long as booze sells itself" attitude. With assets (read debt) of over 1billion and orders for new jets worth over 2 billion. I predict the total money sunk into Kingfisher is about $ 2 billion as of now. With yearly losses of about $ 200 million and the fuel price only rising there is no end in sight for this company. Now they are looking to get capital from Private Equity firms. I pity the fool who is dumb enough to buy Mallyas story and buy into the airline. I quote from a popular news site
"With combined accumulated losses of around Rs 2,000 crore ($ 500 million), the new entity created by the merger of unlisted Kingfisher Airlines with Deccan Aviation will have many strengths, but its balance sheet will not be one of them"
Total debt (including loss and money borrowed to buy assets) - about $1 Billion

4) Rajya Sabha MP- My ASS !!!
His party ( Janata Party, a breakaway faction of the original Janata Dal party) contested almost all of the 224 seats during the Karnataka State legislative election. He campaigned vigorously through the media, but his party failed to make any impact and did not win a single seat. Following the party's failure in the elections, it has been largely ignored by the media.
I searched for about an hour to find something useful he has done for the people of India. Couldn't find even one instance. Please let me know if you can find something that he has done that is even vaguely in the publics interest.

In conclusion I think Mallya should leave Business and Politics to the big boys and concentrate on doing what he does best - Get drunk in lavish parties, sell booze and distribute calendars of semi-naked chicks. Oh wait - naked chicks and booze sell themselves. Guess only thing left to do is get drunk!!! I don't blame him for his flamboyant ways. I would have probably done the same if I inherited UB group.

His whole business strategy seems to work on the concept of "Conties" as we called it in IIT . He basically wants to make contacts with High Networth Individuals (HNIs) and trick them into being a business partner, which seems to be the only logical reason to enter Politics, F1 and Aviation.
This pompous prick is sooooo in love with himself that he even named his son "Sidhartha Vijay Mallya". At this rate the only thing Sidhartha can look forward to inheriting is a truck load of debt and a Maaajar Hangover and headache.