The Great Indian Budget 2008

1) Taxes reduced - $ NAICE
Huge tax cuts, brilliantly done, everyone is happy but I'm sorry mister finance minister, you wont win the next elections.

There is this theory about elections in India that I formulated.
In a country of a billion people about 700 million people at least are bound to be pissed off at all times because they are jealous of the 30% who are well off. Thus 70% of the population is always pissed off. Anyone who is pissed off will obviously vote for a change of government. If these people were smart, they would try to solve their own problems instead of waiting for the government to provide them livelihood. Since we Indians like our problems being solved by someone else, this situation isnt going to change anytime soon. So for the next elections it is -- BJP zindabad !!!


2) Small Cars and Two wheelers to cost less - $ Naice

Please fuck up the already fucked up infrastructure. It takes 2 hours to travel 5 kms in Bombay during peak traffic hours. A time will come in India, in the not so far future, when every Indian will have 2 cars and 4 Bikes and No Roads and No Oil . OOOIIIIILLLL - The three letter word that is completely raping the Indian Economy. The reason for our huge fiscal deficit. The bulk of our Imports. Why don't we just attack one of the oil countries like the US ... We have the fucking Bomb !!! We don't take shit from Nobody !!!!

Lets attack Iran, the US wants to do it anyway. Let us form a "coalition" of anti-terrorist, freedom fighting- fuck islam, mujahiddin, jihadi- food for oil giving countries. We can name it the CATFFFIMJFFOGC .

So instead of giving 60,000 crores to the farmers lets use that money to take over Iran and on the way to Iran we could fuck Pakistan as well .... When we have finished our conquest, we will sell their oil and feed our farmers ( Oil - for - food ) thus ending the crisis.

Make me Finance minister fast !!!!!

3) 50 crores for Tiger Conservation Fund - LOL

Hahahahhahahehehehheheheh

wait ...wait......

hahahahahahahhahaheheehhehehhahuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuuhuhuhu


OK OK ...Im fine now ....sorry ... I was laughing at the Irony. I think the money could have been put to good use were there any tigers left. It is a step to show that the government is trying to do something for the tiger without actually doing anything.

The days of the beautiful wild cat is numbered. If you think that 20 years from now you can take your kids to the zoo and watch tigers , U ARE DREAMING.

I am thinking of writing, directing and producing a movie called Jurassic Park-7 . It is about a story in the future. Hundreds of years from now they find a mosquito in tree sap that had bit a tiger . They extract the tiger-DNA from the mosquito and bring the cat back to earth on a small island. I havent decided on an ending yet ...maybe one you can help me and co-produce the movie with me. ;)


HOW TO MAKE MONEY, BUDGET-2008 STYLE

1) Take a loan.
Buy a farm. ( Less than 2 hectares )
Make money from the farm. (Grow weed )
Default on the Loan.
Let the government waiver the loan every 4 years . ( They do it only for land <2>80) businessman in India never discloses his income, to avoid paying taxes . Now we have hoards of millionaire businessmen with acres of land paying absolutely nothing to get the best "education" India has to offer for their children. The government policy is to reward the farmers who were too dumb to know what to grow and how to grow it. Now I know that the farmers in India are facing major problems, but rewarding the ones who arent productive is no way of encouraging the ones who are working their asses off to pay back their loans and who are actually helping the country.

The government waivers loans worth 60,000 crores and outlines 800 crores for power generation. Can you guess which way the country is headed ?

Disclaimer : I wish to acknowledge the work that Mr.Chidambram has done. I have a lot of respect for him and I think that there is no person more suitable for the job. The task that he faces is monumental and nobody in their right mind would take up this huge responsibility. So I thank him for carrying the burden and doing a great job.