Saturday, August 23, 2008

Vijay Mallya - The Biggest loooooser of the 21st century

As of 2008 Vijay Mallya was ranked as the 962nd richest person in the world and the 42nd in India with a net worth of US $1.2 Billion. So naturally you may ask - How is he a looser ? (Note - I use loser with a double 'o' , because mallya has taken it to a whole new level.) The only successful business run by him was inherited from his father. This is the business that keeps him afloat. If you take away United Breweries, Mallya would be a bankrupt beggar.

1) Force India F1 - Mallya likes to make most of his business decisions when he is piss drunk. God knows what he was thinking. He paid 88 Million euros for the team, thats around $ 150 million. He is investing a further $ 100 Million in making the Delhi/Noida race track. It will actually be a street race like Monaco. LOL. Imagine a F1 street race in India. I can see the headlines now. All cars fail to finish- first time ever in the history of F1. Two drivers puked their hearts out and died at 300kmph on the bumpy Indian Roads. He acquired the worst team in Formula 1 and did something noone could have imagined- made it even worse. At least as Spykar Ferraris they used to finish races. Now its a big deal if both Force India cars remain in the race after the third turn of the first lap. As far as the track in Delhi goes ...I think a street race can never be successful in India, maintaining the track is just impossible. I dont know how he plans to make the investment profitable. For one thing, to get the crouds will be easy only in the first few years, lets face it F1 is only interesting on TV. I think he will collect toll tax from the drivers during the race. Once every lap. :)
In Fact I blame mallya's Force India Team for driving away FIIs from the Indian Stock Market. We should sue him for using the countries name and bringing disgrace to it.


2) Bangalore Royal Challengers - The whole team strategy goes something like this - Dravid and Jaffer will play solid defense in the first fifteen overs, and then in the last five overs ........THATS ALLLL ... with 9 wickets in hand ....we can hit 200 runs easily. The names that Mallya considered before naming his team were Bangalore KingFishers, Bangalore Bagpipers, Bangalore Old monks, Bangalore Zingaros and Bangalore Sand Pipers. But he went with the Royal Challengers Name cause basically all the teams were putting that 'King' factor in their team names....Rajasthan 'Royals' , chennai super'kings' , 'king's 11 punjab. As I said ...noone likes to put stress on brain when drunk. :) . A word of advice for Mr.Mallya- 30*6 = 180, You drunk bastard.

3) Kingfisher Airlines - Mallya said his airline would break even in 2007 when he launched it in 2005. Now he says it will break even in 2010-12. Industry experts believe he will not get there before 2015 even in the best case. He took a 46% stake in Deccan for Rs.1000 crores, a company with an accumulated loss of Rs.420 crores. In 2006 kingfisher made a loss of 240 crore and in 2007 it made a loss of almost 600 crore. I couldn't find the 2008 loss because it is not a listed company and they don't have to declare results. With rising oil prices and Mallya's knack for burning money, in my opinion it will easily cross the 1000 crore mark. They probably didn't declare results out of overwhelming shame. Last year Mallya looked into the possibility of an IPO. I don't think any investment bank would be dumb enough to touch that company with a stick from 10 meters away wearing a bullet proof suite. With no end in sight, Mallya continues with his "never say die as long as booze sells itself" attitude. With assets (read debt) of over 1billion and orders for new jets worth over 2 billion. I predict the total money sunk into Kingfisher is about $ 2 billion as of now. With yearly losses of about $ 200 million and the fuel price only rising there is no end in sight for this company. Now they are looking to get capital from Private Equity firms. I pity the fool who is dumb enough to buy Mallyas story and buy into the airline. I quote from a popular news site
"With combined accumulated losses of around Rs 2,000 crore ($ 500 million), the new entity created by the merger of unlisted Kingfisher Airlines with Deccan Aviation will have many strengths, but its balance sheet will not be one of them"
Total debt (including loss and money borrowed to buy assets) - about $1 Billion

4) Rajya Sabha MP- My ASS !!!
His party ( Janata Party, a breakaway faction of the original Janata Dal party) contested almost all of the 224 seats during the Karnataka State legislative election. He campaigned vigorously through the media, but his party failed to make any impact and did not win a single seat. Following the party's failure in the elections, it has been largely ignored by the media.
I searched for about an hour to find something useful he has done for the people of India. Couldn't find even one instance. Please let me know if you can find something that he has done that is even vaguely in the publics interest.

In conclusion I think Mallya should leave Business and Politics to the big boys and concentrate on doing what he does best - Get drunk in lavish parties, sell booze and distribute calendars of semi-naked chicks. Oh wait - naked chicks and booze sell themselves. Guess only thing left to do is get drunk!!! I don't blame him for his flamboyant ways. I would have probably done the same if I inherited UB group.

His whole business strategy seems to work on the concept of "Conties" as we called it in IIT . He basically wants to make contacts with High Networth Individuals (HNIs) and trick them into being a business partner, which seems to be the only logical reason to enter Politics, F1 and Aviation.
This pompous prick is sooooo in love with himself that he even named his son "Sidhartha Vijay Mallya". At this rate the only thing Sidhartha can look forward to inheriting is a truck load of debt and a Maaajar Hangover and headache.

42 comments:

Zanychild said...

Wat abt his Kingfisher calendar and the big launch of Royal Challengers in the inauguration of IPL
He gives sum solid entertainment at the loss of the country *wink*

C-lay said...

He is a good entertainer, not a good businessman...cricket, booze and naked chicks sell themselves and the greatness of any big businessman lies in increasing sales of his company.Everyone knew the IPL would be a big hit even before it started. Mallya provided more entertainment off the cricket pitch than on it.

kc said...

but he's got you writing about him hasn't he. and that counts for something, no? ;-)

C-lay said...

Hey KC ...Osama bin laden got me writing about him too ...It doesnt count for anything :)

C-lay said...

I got this mail today :) Enjoy!!

Dear Adi,

Its great to have people writing facts and figures on Noted people, just got some inside information on his airlines. They plan to go International. But are their people qualified for the same. Some of the point are as below:-
01. The Indian Airport Manager going to LHR (London Heathrow) is from Domestic with no International Background and from Jet. When the transition from old airport to new airport at Bangalore took place , it was a disaster for Kingfisher , as he did not do his home work like his counter part in Jet, and all Chaos for Kingfisher guests at Bangalore new airport. A Team of Senior officials had to go from Mumbai and tidy up the situation and the mess that the Airport manager of Bangalaore had created and now he is being sent to London Heathrow(God,help kingifhsr)

02. The Airport of Kolkata has also been given an International Sector to Handle, he too without any International Background and a good for nothing person. When he was appointed as an Apt Mgr in Mumbai from Jet, he was the highest paid Apt Mgr,but good for nothing, could not manage the flight handling and was transfered to Kolkata by his Senior GM ,(hey,forgot to tell you that he is the blue eyed boy of his GM)

03. One staff who was the Apt Manger of Go-Airways was "sacked by the MD of Go Airways himself " at the airport infront of Kingfisher staff, and he was taken by the GM of airport handling and added him to his team. Now , he too is being sent out country to handle a station "GOD , HELP KINGFISHER). He too without any International experience. It looks like Kingfisher takes people who are sacked or have a bad tract record in Jet :)

You can find out this fact from the staff working at the airports at Mumbai,Bangalore and Kolkata..

Hope to see you adding this also in your Blog......and waiting to read the same......

Priya

Zanychild said...

@ priya's letter
has VM taken his ambition in life to get in sacked ppl. and turn Kingfisher into the not an Successful airline, but life line of losers!!
and they still lose!

Loki said...

Hi, great article..!!

khimendra said...

good one c-lay...but entertainment off the cricket pitch than on it, surely counts.Dont underestimate that :)god bless him for tat :)

Prime Minister of India (a.k.a Pradhan Mantri) said...

Ye Secular ye popular, Sonia ki gadi tej hai, Congress mai bhi josh hai, Rahul ki ankeh light blue, dikhta ek dum Sicilian hai, hum sab bole Hindi angrez wala, But Papu can't dance sala...

Thanks for linking to me. Enzoy...

www.desiprimeminister.com

C-lay said...

Thanks Loki
@Gunda ...katrina kaif ke majnu saale :)
Prime minister ...Go Fuck urself!!!

jan.ran6 said...

hehe nice article adi:)

C-lay said...

Thanks Jan :)
and congrats ....u made it 500 hits for my blog ...lol
Im goin for 1000 ;)

tempestes said...

Haha well written dude, like your istyle :)
but still mallya rocks! :)

Preeti said...

Hey nice post :)

Aditya said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
C-lay said...

As of 14th Nov...Mallya is now worth 390 mill :)
no more a billionaire ...this further goes to proove ...Im always right !!!

crazyfrogdxb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
crazyfrogdxb said...

Nice blog !

crazyfrogdxb said...

"His whole business strategy seems to work on the concept of "Conties" as we called it in IIT . He basically wants to make contacts with High Networth Individuals (HNIs) and trick them into being a business partner, which seems to be the only logical reason to enter Politics, F1 and Aviation."

This is absolutely correct! Mallya has been doing this for years. So many people who have given him money have been duped. One Late Mr. Menon from Kuwait who was also on the UB board had given Mallya some 15 million USD in the early 90's to save his UB international. The man died and Mallya is known to have never repaid the money to his family and resorted to court cases. It was in the newspapers. Another Mr. Shetty from the UAE also never got a million dollars he had lent to Mallya's UAE companies in the 90s. He knows how to borrow money through various entities and not be held personally liable.

crazyfrogdxb said...

No clue what kind of entertainment he is providing and why he rocks?? It may seem like that to a juvenile. Ramalingam Raju also rocked at one time!

crazyfrogdxb said...

Adi for a 23 year old you are one smart bloke and your analysis is spot on. There is hope for India yet with young fellows like you. Mallya pretends to be a billionaire with borrowed money. He is heavily in debt and spends way too much on loss making activities. Force India? The only team owner to use his country's name to disgrace by coming last! twit.

C-lay said...

Thanks a lot Crazyfrog for your kind words...Im touched :)
Do u also blog ?? please send me the link ...your profile is not public ....

amitmagar said...

BOSS you just forgot to mention about his illegal income.
Sometimes try to use your brain and not just what you read.
He was suppose to be the chairman of RWITC(not don't bother to ask me the what is RWITC).
So building an F1 track is his daye haath kaa khel!
Think about your words bro before you even think of uttering them.

C-lay said...

CockSucker !!!

crazyfrogdxb said...

Hey what do you have to say about the great Indian achiever, obtaining the Mahatma's items at the NY auction? :) This is truly 'Force India' right? ha ha. The man will go to any lengths to shamelessly promote himself.

BTW you forgot to mention the forgettable movie he produced ....Rakth? Which was some supernatural crap story stolen from Hollywood.

crazyfrogdxb said...

http://www.naachgaana.com/2007/10/28/dinner-with-the-ft-vijay-mallya/

Read this old article, what a prick he is. Typical obnoxious behavior. And he repeats the same bullshit stories everyhere about telling his mom he earned the money, how he had a disciplined childhood and his father never gave him much etc....the victim who built the empire etc... bullshit !!! His dad had given him a working scale model car made by Ferrari which he was a kid! He was just a rich spoilt brat and still is. MTV youth Icon couple of years ago ...WTF? India has no hope if youngsters idolize this wayward dishonest dick head. But then again MTV crap does not represent much of the sensible young India i.e guys like you.

C-lay said...

Mallya is the exact opposite of Gandhi. Gandhiji preached a simple life shunning worldly possessions. It is very ironical that Mallya should be the savior. I am sure the items will never be "handed over" to a museum. It will be shown to the media so the government can show the public how they saved Bapu's things, and then it will probably be secretly stashed in Mallya's private collection....
I think the world economic crisis coupled with his idiotic business decisions are making him insane. Two more dumb and desperate things done by Mallya in recent times include - buying an island and trying to run for rajya sabha from Jammu and Kashmir. Dumbass !!

C-lay said...

Crazyfrog
U seem to have a personal grudge against mallya :)

crazyfrogdxb said...

http://www.business-standard.com/india/news/vijay-mallya-now-tries-to-bekingbad-times/01/12/350820/

14,000 crores in debt more than his market cap and some think he is a smart businessman!!! He is a good liar I think.

crazyfrogdxb said...

Avinash Narula has written volumes on Mallyas business
http://managementblog.customermath.com/index.php/2008/10/16/vijay-mallya-needs-to-learn-from-spicejet-and-paramount/

crazyfrogdxb said...

Adi you must write on his acquiring Gandhi's items :) and Tippus sword. There is even a group on Face Book who wants him as CM of Karnataka! LOL.

C-lay said...

Thanks for the informative links. very interesting :)

Aj said...

Hey hi...just want to say one thing
"Little Knowledge is very dangerous knowledge" i dont know who are you? but that is for sure that you are frausted with your life. dont worry brother just send me your resume :) i'll definetely help you out, coz im working with UB group only.hope you will not waste your time here.go man and do something better "Jalo mat barabari karo"
..If you need any help feel free to contact me.

Cheers
AJ

C-lay said...

Aj said...
Hey hi...just want to say one thing
"Little Knowledge is very dangerous knowledge" i dont know who are you? but that is for sure that you are frausted with your life. dont worry brother just send me your resume :) i'll definetely help you out, coz im working with UB group only.hope you will not waste your time here.go man and do something better "Jalo mat barabari karo"
..If you need any help feel free to contact me.

Cheers
AJ

I just copied the above comment so it wont matter if Mr.AJ deletes his own comment in the future.


Dear Mr. AJ (UB Group Employee)

1) A little knowledge is a dangerous thing ... I guess you must lead a very safe life, given your level of knowledge. But people like me like to live dangerously.

2) I am afraid, "Brother" , im not an expert at Audit Fraud so I dont think I posses the skills to work for you, even if I did, you wouldnt be able to afford me . Thanks for the offer anyway, but who wants to work for a morally and economically bankrupt organization.

3) I guess you have to get back to selling stake in your company to raise cash. If you think KKR and Diageo will read my blog and give
your company cheap valuations, we can always negotiate a price to take this post off my blog. I will start the negotiation at 1 million dollars :)

Cheers JackAss

Adi

crazyfrogdxb said...

Adi that was an excellent response to AJ ..LOLOLOL

livingv2 said...

..it does seem like he is trying to boot more than what he can..in terms of his company and so on...but if i respect him for something then its the carefree way he lives..cause at least he is willing to show the his true nature..unlike many other people out there..who would hide their beers and wives behind the media.And naked chicks on calendars...so what?I sure dont see fully covered actresses or models in movies or even in the most sold lifestyle magazines in India.Sadly most of we indians are hypocrites!And as for his sporting ventures IPL2 was a good season for the bangalore team.As for force india its on the 7th position(note lewis hamilton is on 5th)as of the last race.(guess tht was yest 12/7/09 )Am no fan of his...nor do i hate him...cause i dont find any reason to...

Anyway good luck

Red Scorpio said...

hehehehe...i love your article.VJM is a womanizing ,drunk, jerk,and being upfront about his idiocy doesn't make him any better.he's a dumb ass and all he can do is booze and throw parties and spend more money than he has.

crazyfrog said...

http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/2005/02/24/stories/2005022402840400.htm

Adi I think you need to expand on what the B stands for in our B schools. hehe.... sexy calendards and booze can win the admiration of many it seems.

Vijay said...

well i agree the stuff about Force India and Kingfisher Airlines...
But did you see how much the two new teams in IPL auctioned for??
he bought it for 480crores alright..but he could now sell it for 1500 crore rupees!!
more like investing in property..
he probably thinks the same way about Force India as well...besides he has so much of cash what else would he do with it?

crazyfrog said...

Adi have you watched Sid Mallya address the IIM B on youtube ? Fuck ! He talks about RCB green initiatives ! LOL his fathers carbon foot print is more than a small population ! I think you must do a separate post on Sid Mallya. His accent, hairstyle, Deepika, etc ! haha

crazyfrog said...

To the poster Vijay , Mallya has no cash. What he has is a Rs. 14,000 crore debt and overdues of Rs.3000 crores !! As for selling the RCB team, bollocks he will get that kind of money.

Unknown said...

You are an excellent research analyst. Good forecast.