Vijay Mallya - The Biggest loooooser of the 21st century

As of 2008 Vijay Mallya was ranked as the 962nd richest person in the world and the 42nd in India with a net worth of US $1.2 Billion. So naturally you may ask - How is he a looser ? (Note - I use loser with a double 'o' , because mallya has taken it to a whole new level.) The only successful business run by him was inherited from his father. This is the business that keeps him afloat. If you take away United Breweries, Mallya would be a bankrupt beggar.

1) Force India F1 - Mallya likes to make most of his business decisions when he is piss drunk. God knows what he was thinking. He paid 88 Million euros for the team, thats around $ 150 million. He is investing a further $ 100 Million in making the Delhi/Noida race track. It will actually be a street race like Monaco. LOL. Imagine a F1 street race in India. I can see the headlines now. All cars fail to finish- first time ever in the history of F1. Two drivers puked their hearts out and died at 300kmph on the bumpy Indian Roads. He acquired the worst team in Formula 1 and did something noone could have imagined- made it even worse. At least as Spykar Ferraris they used to finish races. Now its a big deal if both Force India cars remain in the race after the third turn of the first lap. As far as the track in Delhi goes ...I think a street race can never be successful in India, maintaining the track is just impossible. I dont know how he plans to make the investment profitable. For one thing, to get the crouds will be easy only in the first few years, lets face it F1 is only interesting on TV. I think he will collect toll tax from the drivers during the race. Once every lap. :)
In Fact I blame mallya's Force India Team for driving away FIIs from the Indian Stock Market. We should sue him for using the countries name and bringing disgrace to it.


2) Bangalore Royal Challengers - The whole team strategy goes something like this - Dravid and Jaffer will play solid defense in the first fifteen overs, and then in the last five overs ........THATS ALLLL ... with 9 wickets in hand ....we can hit 200 runs easily. The names that Mallya considered before naming his team were Bangalore KingFishers, Bangalore Bagpipers, Bangalore Old monks, Bangalore Zingaros and Bangalore Sand Pipers. But he went with the Royal Challengers Name cause basically all the teams were putting that 'King' factor in their team names....Rajasthan 'Royals' , chennai super'kings' , 'king's 11 punjab. As I said ...noone likes to put stress on brain when drunk. :) . A word of advice for Mr.Mallya- 30*6 = 180, You drunk bastard.

3) Kingfisher Airlines - Mallya said his airline would break even in 2007 when he launched it in 2005. Now he says it will break even in 2010-12. Industry experts believe he will not get there before 2015 even in the best case. He took a 46% stake in Deccan for Rs.1000 crores, a company with an accumulated loss of Rs.420 crores. In 2006 kingfisher made a loss of 240 crore and in 2007 it made a loss of almost 600 crore. I couldn't find the 2008 loss because it is not a listed company and they don't have to declare results. With rising oil prices and Mallya's knack for burning money, in my opinion it will easily cross the 1000 crore mark. They probably didn't declare results out of overwhelming shame. Last year Mallya looked into the possibility of an IPO. I don't think any investment bank would be dumb enough to touch that company with a stick from 10 meters away wearing a bullet proof suite. With no end in sight, Mallya continues with his "never say die as long as booze sells itself" attitude. With assets (read debt) of over 1billion and orders for new jets worth over 2 billion. I predict the total money sunk into Kingfisher is about $ 2 billion as of now. With yearly losses of about $ 200 million and the fuel price only rising there is no end in sight for this company. Now they are looking to get capital from Private Equity firms. I pity the fool who is dumb enough to buy Mallyas story and buy into the airline. I quote from a popular news site
"With combined accumulated losses of around Rs 2,000 crore ($ 500 million), the new entity created by the merger of unlisted Kingfisher Airlines with Deccan Aviation will have many strengths, but its balance sheet will not be one of them"
Total debt (including loss and money borrowed to buy assets) - about $1 Billion

4) Rajya Sabha MP- My ASS !!!
His party ( Janata Party, a breakaway faction of the original Janata Dal party) contested almost all of the 224 seats during the Karnataka State legislative election. He campaigned vigorously through the media, but his party failed to make any impact and did not win a single seat. Following the party's failure in the elections, it has been largely ignored by the media.
I searched for about an hour to find something useful he has done for the people of India. Couldn't find even one instance. Please let me know if you can find something that he has done that is even vaguely in the publics interest.

In conclusion I think Mallya should leave Business and Politics to the big boys and concentrate on doing what he does best - Get drunk in lavish parties, sell booze and distribute calendars of semi-naked chicks. Oh wait - naked chicks and booze sell themselves. Guess only thing left to do is get drunk!!! I don't blame him for his flamboyant ways. I would have probably done the same if I inherited UB group.

His whole business strategy seems to work on the concept of "Conties" as we called it in IIT . He basically wants to make contacts with High Networth Individuals (HNIs) and trick them into being a business partner, which seems to be the only logical reason to enter Politics, F1 and Aviation.
This pompous prick is sooooo in love with himself that he even named his son "Sidhartha Vijay Mallya". At this rate the only thing Sidhartha can look forward to inheriting is a truck load of debt and a Maaajar Hangover and headache.

An Idea to Stop Brain Drain !!!

As I look at my class photo taken a month before i passed out from college, I realized that most of my class mates are in the US pursuing their MS. I consider myself to be extremely patriotic as all of you would have gathered from my previous posts. It is a fact, I admit, that all the world's crappiest jobs land up in India for some reason. Isn't it up to us as the brains of the country to ensure that the quality of jobs in India improves. When faced with such a monumental task, don't you think leaving the country is the easy way out. I understand that people who go abroad are the best of the best and they go abroad because they are really passionate and ambitious about their work and hence need better facilities for research and better quality of jobs. How many of you think this is the biggest reason behind brain drain ??? This, I am afraid to say, is not the biggest reason. The biggest reason in my opinion is greed. The biggest reason in my opinion is the fear of being seen as unsuccessful by your peers and family if you don't manage to migrate.The biggest reason is low self-esteem.

This problem is not confined to the IITs but to all good colleges in India. How low is our self -esteem as an Indian. We all say we are proud of our country. Is that only because you said the pledge over and over a thousand times from first standard to twelfth (India is my country, all Indians are my brothers and sisters. I Love my country. I am proud of its rich and varied heritage. I shall always strive to be worthy of it. )
I think it should be more like ...I love my country,but I'm not proud of its poor and overly-varied heritage and hence I shall strive to run away from it.


Having said all this, I am sorry to say, that I too have been guilty of considering the option of migrating on more than one occasion. But thanks to my gigantic balls, I have been able to resist it so far.

So how do we stop brain drain ??? I think a good idea would be to play this Lucky Ali song on all college campuses in India.

Anjani Rahoein Mein

Anjani Rahoein Mein Tu Kya Dhoondhanta Phire,
Door Jisko Samjha Wo To Paas Hai Tere,
Saans Mein Hawa, Jaan Mein Zameen,
Dil Mein Khulaa Aasmaan..aa.aa..
Pyaar Hai Khuda, Pyaar Hai Khushiii
Pyaar Se Hai Doono Jahan...
Tera Ye Aashiyana ..aa..
Mera Bhi Aashiyana ..aa..

O Anjani Rahon Mein Phir Kya Dhoondhanta Phire,
Door Jisko Samjha Wo To Paas Hai Tere,
Ghoomta Raha... Door Tu Kahinnn...
Udate Baadlon... Ki Tarahh...
Kahin Se Tujhe..Aai Hai Sada..aa..
Laut Ke Aaa Ab Jaraaa...
Tera Ye Aashiyana ..aa..
Mera Bhi Aashiyana ..aa..

Woh Jhilmilati Aakhein ... Bholi Si Ada...
Who Dheere Dheere Chal Ke Lehrati Hawa...aein...
Hamkon Le Jaaye Wahan...
Jahan Ho Ghar Apna ..Ooo..
Teri Yaadoein Mein Paaya Hai
Aaj Toh..oo... Milne Ka Din Hai Aaya Aaya...

Saans Mein Hawa... Jaan Mein Zameen...
Dil Mein Khulaa Aasmaan..Aa.Aa..
Pyaar Hai Khuda Pyaar Hai Khushi
Pyaar Se Hai Dono Jahan..Aa..
Tera Ye Aashiyana ..aa..
Mera Bhi Aashiyana ..aa..

Anjani Rahon Mein Tu Kya Dhoondhanta Phire...
Door Jisko Samjha Who To Paas Hai Tere...

Hummm..Hmmm...Hummm.Mmm..
Hummm..Hmmm...Hummm.Mmm..
Hummm..Hmmm...Hummm.Mmm..
Hummm..Hmmm...Hummm.Mmm..
Oooo..Oo..Ooo.Oo....

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology, proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper- A Theory of Human Motivation . It is best represented in a pyramid diagram with the most basic needs at the bottom.

I came across this theory in one of my Financial Management Classes - Introduction to management, in my third year. Now I know what you must be thinking - " Classes and you ???!!!!! @##%%$^ ". The truth is, even though my overall attendance in IIT could not have exceeded 30% in the best case, I quite enjoyed this class and never missed a class in this course. The fact that it was thought by the only attractive, good looking female prof in IIT Madras had very little to do with it.( Those of you who took the course with me , remember Sangamitra Bhattacharya ?? )

Leaving my crushes aside for a minute, This diagram really grabbed my attention. It put everything I had ever thought about life and society into perspective. I began to think .... although that might be hard to believe. Firstly, where do I stand in this pyramid ?? and more importantly, What will I do when I get to the top of the Pyramid. Will I have anything to look forward to when I'm at the top ???

The most basic need according to Maslow are Food water and shelter. People move up the pyramid as they get older. After the basic needs comes the need to be safe, secure and loved.
After that comes the need to boost your self esteem, EEEEgo .

As far as I am concerned ... The bottom Four levels of the pyramid give a classic explanation for how people get dragged into the " Rat Race " . The world economy is a Big well oiled Machine owned by a few major corporations and people are viewed as gears rubbing against each other keeping the machine moving, and Maslow's theory is a tool in the hands of Managers to make their sub-ordinate's life miserable. I think profits without conscience is just a waste of the world's resources. I'm not a pessimist and I'm not a communist, I just describe the world as I see it.

To answer the first question, Where am I in the pyramid ?
I like to think I am at the " Experience purpose, meaning and realizing all inner potential stage ".
If you examine the pyramid closely you will understand that it is possible to move up as well as down the pyramid. It is also possible to skip a few levels and aim for the top directly. For example, when you decide you want to get into IIT, You skip the first three levels and go straight to fulfilling your Esteem Needs. When you achieve the Esteem needs, the needs below are automatically taken care of, or so you think. A saint or sadhu might ignore all the levels and aim for self actualization. He might or might not get it, but the point is that people very rarely realize that they can skip a few levels once in a while. I think this tendency is what keeps people from realizing their true potential in life.

The second question is much more philosophical and difficult to answer than the first one.
What do you do when you have reached the top? what is your motivation to keep living, to wake up every morning and go through the same routine of mundane tasks ? Is there even such a thing as realization of truth or do all people live and die chasing this mirage ?
When a person has reached the top, has he really made a differance to the world or has he just satisfied his own selfish needs ? How long will people remember him after he is dead ? How long will the human race survive ? Aren't human beings completely insignificant when viewed as a part of the larger Universe ?

To answer all these questions I will quote whatever ""Self actualization "" I have experienced so far ( courtesy - Middle's Blog )

" You are not the money you make, You are not the car you own, You are not the school/college you went to, You are not the chick you bang etc. You are simply the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world. It doesn’t matter, you were crap, organic matter, into which life was induced for some reason, and that life shall be taken away again for some reason, if any. So we are propelled into an essence-less existence. But what makes this fundamentally pointless journey meaningful are the two great gifts we have: intellect and sexuality. So concentrate and satiate either one or both, things should fall into place. "


So in my opinion the Maslow's theory is a theory of motivating people, but not a road map to happiness in life. To be happy in life you need to fulfill only two needs , intellect and sex. To represent both these things in a diagram would be something like this ......