Fartificial intelligence

The Indian IT industry

2009-10-15T22:43:00.014+05:30

To say that the Indian IT industry is a gigantic fraud of biblical proportions would be an understatement. Anyone who has worked in the Indian IT industry ("consulting" as they call it) will tell you that a mechanic with a roadside shop is probably a better car "consultant" compared to IT "consultants" in India. At least the car consultant does a decent days work.

People who have learned the art of fraud well are called "experienced". These are the kind of people who have lost their soul and self esteem after working for 5-10 years in the IT industry. 10 of the best years of their lives - gone, vanished. The kind of people who ask "what is your platform, coding language and tool ?? " even before they get to know your name.

Given the hierarchy followed in the Indian IT companies ( Jr. Analyst, Analyst, Sr.Analyst, Ass. Man, Manager, Ex-Man, VP, Partner), it is difficult to say if the fraud is a top down approach or bottom up approach. I will explain.

The partners and the VP's and the Managers... their job is only to sell the project to the client by using phrases like "adding value", "performance delivered","Market capture", "increase sales & profits" etc. etc. Once the project is sold, the next step is to "maintain the relationship". The client is stuck with you in a one or two years contract, you have got him by the balls. Now you milk him on a weekly basis ( IT companies charge their clients on a weekly basis). If IT companies only accepted payment after the product was delivered, like for example the auto industry does, they would all go bankrupt in no time. So the assistant manager and everyone above him is responsible for Sales, Marketing and Client relationship management. The negligible job of software development is left to the lowlifes ( Analysts ). So out of a hierarchy of 8 steps, the top 5 are "busy" with this.

Now lets come to the analysts, the lowlifes. They are usually underpaid and over worked - fresh out of college, clueless guys who are just learning the art of fraud. They are supposed to learn programming languages and tools. They hate their life and they hate their job, but they are "managed" in much the same way a donkey is ridden with a carrot and a stick. The carrot in this case is usually the promise of a promotion and more money, sometimes the carrot doesn't work, so they dangle a cabbage ( on-site opportunity ). (Remember, even if the donkey catches and eats the carrot, a donkey is still a donkey) . But most of all, the analyst is driven by the dream of the peaceful life he will have after he becomes a manager.

The analysts are grouped, quite arbitrarily and put on the project. Now there may be some idiots (freshers) who think that their job is to actually get some work done, but after watching their more experienced peers they soon realize they were mistaken. A team of 10 -15 analysts ( may be as high as 100 in indian IT companies) is formed in the hope that at least two or three will try to RG(Relative grading) the others to get ahead in their career, and in the process maybe everyone will work hard and some work will get done..... but there is a flaw in this thinking, it is more likely that a person who is working hard will look at someone who is putting peace and stop working, than a person who is putting peace sees a person working hard and starts working. Hence everyone tends to "the point of no work". After 6 months of successful frauding comes the time for the half yearly reviews. During these reviews people find out that no one did any work. How do u rate people if everyone gets a zero ? Then comes the debate over who likes who and the reviews soon turn into a popularity contest. Different people refer to this in different ways - "networking", "politics", "favouritism", "ass-kissing","godfather", "Sleeping with the boss"(Oh yes , you are ignorant if you think chicks wont sleep around to get ahead) - whatever you call it, they all mean the same thing.

I was very lucky to have worked under an awesome VP, an ex-IITian, as soon as I joined my job fresh out of college. On the first of many meetings, his first statement to the batch of 10-12 of us (all IITians) was - " 99% of all people in the IT industry are frauds ". I dint realize it at the time, but this was probably the most truthful and profound statement I heard in two years of work. It prepared me mentally for what lay ahead. For his sage like advice I will remain ever grateful.

Within the first couple of months, even before I finished my training I had decided that consulting wasn't for me. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a conscience or anything. I would gladly take a persons money by fraud if he is stupid enough to give it to me. It was just that I have always been, and still am, extremely self-aware. I can fraud the clients, I can fraud the managers and I can fraud my colleagues, but if there is one thing I can't do - its lie to myself. So here is what I did. I gave myself a time of 2 years, buckled down, spent the second year looking for a job, unsuccessfully (recession sir). The time 2 years was not chosen arbitrarily. One, it would look good on my resume, well rounded figure - shows loyalty and perseverance. Two, 2 years is a good enough time for you to exploit the MNC's brand name, get to know some good people, people who will be friends for life and also to get a few recos for higher studies. More than 2 years will get you labelled "Techie from India" or " IT worker", there are millions of them, and if there is one thing I have learned in life, it is to move in the opposite direction of the crowd, cause the crowd is usually retarded. Also the demand and supply of people in the IT industry is highly unfavorable for a long term career.

Then when my 2 years were up, there were signs that told me to quit my job ( One of the biggest ones was the election results and the 2000 points sensex jump that followed ). I knew the time had come for me to get up from hibernation and do something. So I put in my resignation and gave my two months notice, then I left that day and never went back to office(My 2 months notice was actually a 2 week mass bunk, after which I think they got the general idea). That was my Bye-Bye and Fuck-you to the Indian IT industry.

The thing I realized after 2 years is - the IT companies are filled with extremely nice people who are extremely smart and who are not inherently useless. I feel it is the framework and the structure of an IT company that makes it extremely unproductive - to the point of fraud. I think my IIM friends should be able to put management fundaes on this phenomenon. Everyone knows it exists, but no one acknowledges the fraud. To acknowledge it is to commit professional suicide.

If you are an IT worker and need pointers on how to pass your time at work...here are a few ideas

1) WIP - this means work in progress - which means - it aint never gonna get done
2) Try chatting and orkuting ...this gets boring after a while
3) Take frequent coffee and tea breaks. Also take fag breaks, but buy one fag at a time so that you have to go to the sutta shop at least 4-5 times a day
4) Tell your manager you will come late to office and work late. come in at 11 and leave at 5 30.
5) Jerk off ( toooo honest ? )
6) When dealing with on-site team ( The white retarded people ) ... make a list of 20 doubts as soon as you know the work assigned to you.... ask one or two doubts per conferance call (one call per week ), you should be able to waste a couple of months, they won't know what hit them.
7) When on conferance calls - ask the onsite team stupid questions like ... I cant find the plug-point to plug in my computer... can u help me find it ?
8) When they ask you how much work is completed.... draw them a pie chart (50% green and 50% red) and say -- this much !!!
9) A favourite among women is the work from home excuse. The manager cant say anything because they have "women problems".
10) Make a document in excel. The first column should have names of processes, the second column is to be filled in with random numbers and the third column should be filled in with ( random number + or - 10%). This document is called the CMMI Level 5 audit.
11) Display your complete lack of self esteem by practicing your fake "US accent."
12) Watch the latest seasons of 24
13) If you do all the above and are still finding it difficult to timepass... put ur head on the table in front of you and go to sleep.
14) Make an internal document called "Best Practices" and put in the above 13 points.

For all my well wishers, who are wondering what I'm doing ...Thanks for your concern, but dont worry, I have tripled my networth through the stock market ( the couple of months at home proved to be more productive than 2 years of actual work). I am working in a alternative energy startup in Chennai...for lack of a better word I will call it "Alternative energy consultancy". Its an awesome job and I'm loving it, although the pay is not as good as my last job, I sleep better at night.

PS : Im sorry guys for such a long break from my blog :) I had other things on my mind.

Indian Politics 101 - Who will win election 2009 ?

2009-03-23T14:33:00.008+05:30

Indian government and politics is based on the UK system of government. The central government has more powers, more money than the state governments. The Central Government is the governing authority of a federal union of 28 states and seven union territories, collectively called the Republic of India.

The Parliament of India consists of two houses: the directly-elected 545-member Lok Sabha , the lower house, and the 250-member indirectly-elected and appointed Rajya Sabha, the upper house. The Rajya Sabha members are elected for a term of 6 years by the state legislatures with each state having some quota. There are rolling elections every 2 years, one-third of the seats are up for grabs. To become a member of the Rajya Sabha, a person must be a citizen of India, not less than 30 years of age. He/she should be mentally sound and should not be bankrupt. He/she should also state an affidavit that there are no criminal procedures against him/her. ( That rules me out on two counts....Guess which two ?? ) .

The Finance minister of India presents the annual union budget in the Parliament. The budget has to be passed by the Lok Sabha before it can come into effect on April 1, the start of India's fiscal year. India's union budget for 2005–06, had an estimated outlay of Rs.5,14,344 crores ($118 billion). Earnings from taxes amount to Rs. 2,73,466 crore ($63b). India's fiscal deficit amounts to 4.5% or 1,39,231 crore ($32b). The fiscal deficit is expected to be 3.8% of GDP, by March 2007.

The Parliament seats are divided as shown. Red is Rajya Sabha and Blue is Lok Sabha. UP has 110 ( 80 + 30 ).

Its clear from this graph that 12 states ( with more than 30 LS+RS seats ) hold all the power when it comes to getting a majority. AP, Bihar, Gujrat, Karnataka, MP, Maharashtra, Orissa, Rajasthan, Tamil Nadu, UP, West Bengal. I suggest you stand for election from one of these states if you want to become Prime Minister of India some day :) . Unfortunately this logic has resulted in the formation of many local state level political parties from these states that play a big role in the formation of government.The heads of all these dumb parties want to be PM some day. Now the two major political parties Congress and BJP have been consistently loosing power to these parties. The so called national parties have not been able to get a majority for a long long time. India has had only coalition governments for a long time thanks to the multi party system.

There are about 250 people in the Indian Parliament with criminal cases pending ranging from murder, rape, extortion, kidnapping, booth capturing, Tax evasion etc. At least 50 of these are hard core criminals. Even Rahul Gandhi have a case of tax evasion pending.

So we come back to the main question.....who will win election 2009 ?

Lets say the Congress, BJP and Third Front(+other parties) divide the votes equally, they all get one third. Then what will happen is the Third Front will split and parties will join either BJP or Congress. This is where these criminals come in. They need to be with the ruling coalition if they want to stay out of jail. Here comes the tricky part .... Now comes the question ....who can get more support, the BJP or Congress. Finally it will come down to money. Seats will be bought and sold like commodity. Now you may ask, which party has more money power on its side ?

The answer is obvious if you saw the recent vibrant Gujrat summit. Gujrat attracted investment of over $ 250 billion. To put that into context ...that's 5 times the tax collected by central government. Both Anil Ambani and Sunil Mittal endorsed Modi as their PM candidate in the presence of Mukesh Ambani, Ratan Tata and many prominent Industrialists. These Industrialists have to get a friendly and favorable government at any cost, to consolidate their hold on the Indian Consumer in these times of financial crisis. They cant afford to lose. Secondly, they would never openly support a party unless they were pretty fucking sure it will win.

Hence BJP and its allies will come to power this election. Its inevitable.

I dare you to find a flaw in my logic. The Think Tank has spoken .....

Having said all this, I would also like to make it very clear that I do not intend to exercise my vote for as long as I live. I find the entire exercise pointless. The main reason for this is that the Indian electorate has a maximum memory of 2-3 years, how else could you explain the presence of two political parties in a particular state coming to power in alternate elections and never winning two elections consecutively. Ideally, a party that has come to power and failed should never be able to come back to power in the future, but the dum people just don't learn from their mistakes, I have dedicated my life to doing exactly opposite of what the majority does.

A Valentine Story

2009-03-10T02:53:00.015+05:30

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a Valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the fucker."

JOKE :)

2009-02-11T19:36:00.005+05:30

I got this joke in a chain mail and I thought I would share it with all of you. :)

A white man was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when he turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the man, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the man. "Since you are black, do you think that So-called President Barack Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles.

"OK", she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The man, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Obama's qualifications ..... when you don't know shit"

The story of a hedge fund manager

2009-02-11T14:23:00.019+05:30

Andrew Lahde was a California-based hedge fund manager who in 2007-08 earned some fame for achieving return rates in the vicinity of 1000% with his Lahde Capital, based in Santa Monica, California. He converted the asset under management from $ 2 billion to $20 billion in less than an year by correctly forecasting the sub prime crisis and shorting the affected banks. The fund speculated on increases of U.S. subprime mortgage defaults. He earned a Bachelor's degree in Finance from Michigan State University and an MBA from the Anderson School of Business at the University of California Los Angeles.

In September 2008, at the peak of his career as a hedge fund manager, Lahde closed his fund. On October 17, he released an open good-bye letter to his investors, colleagues and press. Lahde criticized the harried life of the rich, and said that "Capitalism worked for two hundred years, but times change, and systems become corrupt." He suggested that George Soros "start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government that truly represents the common man’s interest".

The main reason Ladhe closed his fund was that after years of trading he had found that the rarest commodity in the world is intelligence.

I have pasted the open letter below.

" Today I write not to gloat. Given the pain that nearly everyone is experiencing, that would be entirely inappropriate. Nor am I writing to make further predictions, as most of my forecasts in previous letters have unfolded or are in the process of unfolding. Instead, I am writing to say goodbye.

Recently, on the front page of Section C of the Wall Street Journal, a hedge fund manager who was also closing up shop (a $300 million fund), was quoted as saying, “What I have learned about the hedge fund business is that I hate it.” I could not agree more with that statement. I was in this game for the money. The low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government. All of this behavior supporting the Aristocracy, only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America.

There are far too many people for me to sincerely thank for my success. However, I do not want to sound like a Hollywood actor accepting an award. The money was reward enough. Furthermore, the endless list those deserving thanks know who they are.

I will no longer manage money for other people or institutions. I have enough of my own wealth to manage. Some people, who think they have arrived at a reasonable estimate of my net worth, might be surprised that I would call it quits with such a small war chest. That is fine; I am content with my rewards. Moreover, I will let others try to amass nine, ten or eleven figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck. Appointments back to back, booked solid for the next three months, they look forward to their two week vacation in January during which they will likely be glued to their Blackberries or other such devices. What is the point? They will all be forgotten in fifty years anyway. Steve Balmer, Steven Cohen, and Larry Ellison will all be forgotten. I do not understand the legacy thing. Nearly everyone will be forgotten. Give up on leaving your mark. Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life.

So this is it. With all due respect, I am dropping out. Please do not expect any type of reply to emails or voicemails within normal time frames or at all. Andy Springer and his company will be handling the dissolution of the fund. And don’t worry about my employees, they were always employed by Mr. Springer’s company and only one (who has been well-rewarded) will lose his job.

I have no interest in any deals in which anyone would like me to participate. I truly do not have a strong opinion about any market right now, other than to say that things will continue to get worse for some time, probably years. I am content sitting on the sidelines and waiting. After all, sitting and waiting is how we made money from the subprime debacle. I now have time to repair my health, which was destroyed by the stress I layered onto myself over the past two years, as well as my entire life — where I had to compete for spaces in universities and graduate schools, jobs and assets under management — with those who had all the advantages (rich parents) that I did not. May meritocracy be part of a new form of government, which needs to be established.

On the issue of the U.S. Government, I would like to make a modest proposal. First, I point out the obvious flaws, whereby legislation was repeatedly brought forth to Congress over the past eight years, which would have reigned in the predatory lending practices of now mostly defunct institutions. These institutions regularly filled the coffers of both parties in return for voting down all of this legislation designed to protect the common citizen. This is an outrage, yet no one seems to know or care about it. Since Thomas Jefferson and Adam Smith passed, I would argue that there has been a dearth of worthy philosophers in this country, at least ones focused on improving government. Capitalism worked for two hundred years, but times change, and systems become corrupt. George Soros, a man of staggering wealth, has stated that he would like to be remembered as a philosopher. My suggestion is that this great man start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government that truly represents the common man’s interest, while at the same time creating rewards great enough to attract the best and brightest minds to serve in government roles without having to rely on corruption to further their interests or lifestyles. This forum could be similar to the one used to create the operating system, Linux, which competes with Microsoft’s near monopoly. I believe there is an answer, but for now the system is clearly broken.

Lastly, while I still have an audience, I would like to bring attention to an alternative food and energy source. You won’t see it included in BP’s, “Feel good. We are working on sustainable solutions,” television commercials, nor is it mentioned in ADM’s similar commercials. But hemp has been used for at least 5,000 years for cloth and food, as well as just about everything that is produced from petroleum products. Hemp is not marijuana and vice versa. Hemp is the male plant and it grows like a weed, hence the slang term. The original American flag was made of hemp fiber and our Constitution was printed on paper made of hemp. It was used as recently as World War II by the U.S. Government, and then promptly made illegal after the war was won. At a time when rhetoric is flying about becoming more self-sufficient in terms of energy, why is it illegal to grow this plant in this country? Ah, the female. The evil female plant — marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So, why is this innocuous plant illegal? Is it a gateway drug? No, that would be alcohol, which is so heavily advertised in this country. My only conclusion as to why it is illegal, is that Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other additive drugs, than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers. This policy is ludicrous. It has surely contributed to our dependency on foreign energy sources. Our policies have other countries literally laughing at our stupidity, most notably Canada, as well as several European nations (both Eastern and Western). You would not know this by paying attention to U.S. media sources though, as they tend not to elaborate on who is laughing at the United States this week. Please people, let’s stop the rhetoric and start thinking about how we can truly become self-sufficient.

With that I say good-bye and good luck.

All the best,

Andrew Lahde”

Do I still need to tell you why he is my new mentor ?? Please let me know if any of you are planning to start your own hedge fund :)

2008 - The Year That Was

2008-12-10T02:58:00.016+05:30

I think its human nature to look back around this time of the year and try to figure out what the fuck is wrong with the world, maybe make some new year resolutions. In an otherwise boring and sad year, a few bright spots stood out.

2008 will be remembered as the year of BARACK OBAMA, the man with the plan. He went from being in the tenth spot in the Democratic nomination race a year ago to being the president today and he did it all armed with nothing more than unwavering honesty, humility, faith and hope. He did it by preaching the ideas of Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi, by writing the most immaculate and honest speeches and then delivering them with so much passion, he sometimes reminded me of Hitler. He was a completely unknown guy a year ago and the most unlikely candidate for president. The first few primaries felt like they were mere formalities before the nomination was given to Hilary Clinton. Then Obama got the opening he so desperately needed when Hilary farted in one of the primary debates when she was asked a serious question by the moderator, viewed by millions of people on live TV ( Yes !!! Farted !! http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=u0aedNpZeOw&feature=related ). Yes my friends, it all began with a FART . This was the first dent in Hilary's armor. The fart that resonated throughout the world and made OBAMA president. Even after he won the democratic nomination, people always felt that on election day he would lose because in a secret ballot the white man would never let the black man win. But his grandma's death a day before the election surely took care of this factor. The FART and the fact that his grandma died one day before the elections is proof that god wanted Obama to be president for the sake of mankind. Obama is the first politician in a long time to actually side with the people rather than special interest groups and lobbyists, he is not afraid to speak the truth and take on Big businesses like banks and oil. This is why I think Obama's biggest threat comes from within the US and not from outside. I hope, for the sake of mankind, that his story has a different ending than JFK.

2008 will be remembered as the year of the Beijing Olympics, the rise of China. The year Usain BOLT became the worlds fastest man and Micheal PHELPS became the worlds fastest fish. The images of a man thumping his chest 15 meters before the finish line in a 100 meter race and still managing to break the world record (The 9.7 seconds barrier) will live in our memories forever, so will this image of Phelps winning the butterfly from Cavic by 0.01 seconds( phelps is on left ) . India tripled the number of medals compared to the last few games :) Bindra won gold. Kudos to the boxing and wrestling Junta.

USSSSSAAAIIINNN BOLT

TOO FAST ,TOO FURIOUS

PHELPS - Probably saved by the middle finger

2008 will also be remembered as the year the Financial crisis began : Bear Sterns, Lehman brothers, Merrill Lynch, AIG, Fannie Mae , Freddie Mac, Citigroup. At one point it looked like the collapse would never end. No major bank in the world was spared. Major banking "Corporations" suddenly became financial "Institutions" that needed tax money to survive. Even Goldman Sachs declared a loss for the latest quarter. No one knows how long the US and European Manufacturing industry will survive. The world is facing the biggest financial crisis since the great depression. Unemployment was on the rise throughout the year so were corporate bankruptcies. 2008 was the worst year for stock markets around the world. The amount of wealth destroyed is unimaginable. On the Financial and Economic front ...all news was bad news in 2008. Over 150 years of history turned to dust. I hope 2009 is better in this respect but I'm not very optimistic.

All and all 2008 was a bad year with a few bright spots here and there. One more year of my life that I will never get back ......FUCK !!!

The World Monetary System !! PART - 2 of 2

2008-11-30T17:11:00.005+05:30

I think the inequality in the world monetary system is quiet apparent. The system clearly reflected the beginning of Capitalism at the world stage after the second world war. This further led to the cold war because the Russians did not want the American dollar to rule the world. As we all know, they lost.

I am not against Capitalism or Communism. In this case I take the "Middle" view. Capitalism is a good idea, excellent in fact, when put in an envelope called Democracy. Democracy - that granted everyone equal rights and freedoms. There is no democracy at the world stage. Countries are democracies but the world is not, as the assigning of quotas shows.

Countries had to to grant their citizens equal rights ....but with whatever quota they were given.

So equal rights in US and Europe meant - Free Health care, Unemployment pay ( very capitalistic !!), Free Education, Pension Plans , Big Mortgages, Social Security. They had, they borrowed, they had more.

And equality in Africa meant- Maybe someday everyone will have water and electricity and polio drops !! They had not, they borrowed not and they had not !!

But things are not as hopeless as they may seem. Many Asian countries including India and China were able to attain rapid growth, thanks to Education and Infrastructure development.

The US consumers total consumption per year is $ 9 trillion. China's consumers spend $ 1 trillion and Indians about $ 600 billion a year. This is mainly because Chindians have a higher savings rate. ( Chindians is an accepted word in Economics nomenclature .... I know !! ... makes me wish I was a nigger !! )

The US can print cash and they have to pay about 1 -1.5 % interest on their bonds and countries like India have to pay 4 -5 % . So the US had access to a lot of liquidity. Which in fact led to the whole credit-crunch and sub prime mess.

People were given loans, who should not have been given loans. The lending rates were so low ...that it was always assumed that the percentage rise in price of the property would be much higher, hence the loan was always safe. The real estate brokers sold homes to people with absolutely no documents. These loans were called NINJA loans (No Income, No Job , Asset ). The brokers made these loans because they dint care if the loan would be paid back or not, they only had to hold the risk of the loan for a few days, till it was "securitized". Then these securities would rest with banks in their balance sheets. These derivatives were so complex...I'm sure they were some highly complex y= f(x) equation that Middle came up with when he was interning at Lehman. Then they were "sliced" and "diced", assigned arbitrary ratings by rating agencies and sold left and right . When the prices fell and the shit hit the fan, the ones who had created this crap were left holding most of it themselves . A dozen or so HUGE corporations collapsed or became "financial Institutions" that were deemed too big to fall, for the sake of Mankind. This is a whole different topic of debate and there have been many good articles on the subject.

I don't know if the current credit crisis signals an opportunity for India and China and other Emerging countries to play a larger economic or political role in the world. But there certainly are signals from many countries that they want to negotiate a new world monetary system. The world monetary system is always changing...the introduction of Euro for example has given the governments of the world an alternative to dollar reserves. I think the current crisis certainly means that the role of the US will be diminished in the long term but I don't know how effectively and quickly India can increase its importance in the world stage.

I hope Manmohan Singh is PM when/if the monetary system is "renegotiated".

Anyway in conclusion, I think the Entire concept of money is flawed. There is no point on putting a cap on the wealth of the world and then dividing it disproportionately. Yes, there is a cap on the total money because even though the money supply is always increasing, inflation ensures that the value of money is always eroding at a certain rate which keeps wealth constant and people senselessly going about the Rat race. In fact a big part of the slowdown in the US can be attributed to the higher number of educated adults in Asia who are a cheap source of labour, both in the Services and the Manufacturing Sector , as a consequence, the virtual collapse of the US Auto Industry (both due to credit crunch and losing to low cost Asian rivals ) .

Almost all manufacturing jobs ( Factory Jobs) could be lost to technology and automation ( Robots ) in 30-40 years, the technology will exist . Thanks to excessive automation, Mankind has lost many jobs to computer programs. A company's point of contact today is the Internet website and everything can be done online.The only thing that motivates corporations is profit. The term "Corporate Responsibility" is clearly a paradox. Excess food is destroyed by producers to drive up food prices and hence profit. How can this be allowed in a world where people die of hunger.

So my point is ... The current monetary system will lead to a situation where many human beings will lose their sources of Income and their lives, as there will be less and less jobs because of Man vs Technology. Right now we are in the phase of Man vs Man, because it is one country over another trying to divide wealth.

In this scenario, it is the duty of the world leaders to define a minimum level of equality for the whole world, for every person. In my opinion at least food, clean water, electricity, primary education and basic health care must be provided to everyone in the world. It is possible. But does Mankind have the will and the Integrity to provide basic equality to everyone in the world ?? Judging from 2000 years of human history, I think Not .

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=NT-2fenmLnc

Zeitgeist ...awesome documentary

The World Monetary System !! PART - 1 of 2

2008-11-29T14:19:00.011+05:30

I have spent countless nights researching Money and the origins of wealth. Most people take the world monetary system for granted. They think of Money as something that has always existed and something that will always exist. Here are some facts that make you think......

1) World's richest 1% own 40% of all wealth

2) Poorest 50% of world's adults own just 1% of the wealth

3) Richest 10 % account for 90 % of the world's wealth

4) Only 3% of all money in the world exists as cash.....97% of it exists as 1s and 0s in computers across banks.

You don't have to be a very intelligent man to understand that there is something deeply wrong with the system. I have always believed that to understand something you need to go back to the basics. Question the underlying concept.

We know that at some point in time we moved from the barter system to hard currency, coins and then notes. In order to understand the present monetary system, we need to go back to July 1944. I assume this to be the point when the modern monetary policy was put into effect. This is not some arbitrary date, but the time when the world money system, as we know it today, was put in place.

The Bretton Woods system of monetary management established the rules for commercial and financial relations among the world's major industrial states. The Bretton Woods system was the first example of a fully negotiated monetary order intended to govern monetary relations among independent nation-states.

Preparing to rebuild the international economic system as World War II was still raging, 730 delegates from all 44 Allied nations gathered at the Mount Washington Hotel in Bretton Woods, New Hampshire, United States, for the United Nations Monetary and Financial Conference. The delegates deliberated upon and signed the Bretton Woods Agreements during the first three weeks of July 1944.

Setting up a system of rules, institutions, and procedures to regulate the international monetary system, the planners at Bretton Woods established the International Bank for Reconstruction and Development (IBRD) (now one of five institutions in the World Bank Group) and the International Monetary Fund (IMF). These organizations became operational in 1945 after a sufficient number of countries had ratified the agreement.

The chief features of the Bretton Woods system were an obligation for each country to adopt a monetary policy that maintained the exchange rate of its currency within a fixed value—plus or minus one percent—in terms of gold and the ability of the IMF to bridge temporary imbalances of payments. In the face of increasing strain, the system collapsed in 1971, following the United States' suspension of convertibility from dollars to gold. This created the unique situation whereby the United States dollar became the "reserve currency" for the nation-states which had signed the agreement.

I copied the 2 paragraphs above from WIKI :)

You can read the whole history if you are interested in Economics. Its extremely interesting, I can tell u that.

In 1945, the world was very different from what it is today. The economy of Europe was destroyed because of the first world war, the great depression and the second world war. Most Asian and African countries were still colonies fighting for freedom. They had nothing....Nothing! No money, no rights and no power to negotiate. The only country that emerged relatively unscathed was the USA.

Before the agreement, the currencies of the world were valued or pegged against gold. Each country had its own gold reserves, their currency was guaranteed by gold and gold was the major unit of trade between countries in case they had a major trade deficit.

As a consequence of the bretton woods agreement all the governments of the world transferred their gold reserves to the US. It still resides there today . About 70% of all gold ever mined in the world is in the US. Only the US dollar was now backed by gold !!! And the world currencies pounds, francs, rupees etc etc were now backed by US dollars, making the US dollar the reserve currency of the world !!!! Later after this system failed in 1971, even the US dollar was not backed by gold. Essentially it is backed by nothing. If the US fails, so does the world.

If you think this is not fraud enough....you haven't heard the worst of it !!

THE IMF

The IMF was to be the world organization that would assist, finance ( lend at an interest ) to countries who had big trade deficits.

The big question at the Bretton Woods conference with respect to the institution that would emerge as the IMF was the issue of future access to international liquidity and whether that source should be akin to a world central bank able to create new reserves at will or a more limited borrowing mechanism.

What emerged largely reflected U.S. preferences: a system of subscriptions and quotas embedded in the IMF, which itself was to be no more than a fixed pool of national currencies and gold subscribed by each country as opposed to a world central bank capable of creating money. The Fund was charged with managing various nations' trade deficits so that they would not produce currency devaluations.

When joining the IMF, members were assigned "quotas" reflecting their relative economic power, and, as a sort of credit deposit, were obliged to pay a "subscription" of an amount commensurate to the quota. The subscription was to be paid 25% in gold or currency convertible into gold (effectively the dollar, which was the only currency then still directly gold convertible for central banks) and 75% in the member's own currency.

In the event of a deficit in the current account, Fund members, when short of reserves, would be able to borrow foreign currency in amounts determined by the size of its quota. In other words, the higher the country's contribution was, the higher the sum of money it could borrow from the IMF.The countries issued bonds and they got cash.

Now if the inequality of this system is not immediately apparent to you , you are not intelligent enough to view this blog...please stop reading !!

Now lets talk about the Quotas :) If you think quotas for SC/ST etc are wrong. This is a completely different type of quota. It is like giving quotas to the upper class which is even dumber.....

Lets talk numbers :)

USA - 17%

UK - 5 %

France - 5 %

Japan - 6.13 %

Germany - 6 %

Italy - 3.25 %

China - 3.72 %

Saudi Arabia - 3.21 %

Canada - 3 %

Russia - 2.74 %

Pot Smoking Netherlands - 2.38 %

Belgium- 2.12 %

India - 1.91 %

Switzerland - 1.6 %

Australia - 1.5 %

Mexico- 1.45 %

Spain - 1.4 %

Brazil - 1.4 %

Argentina - 1 %

Pakistan - 0.5%

Keep in mind that these quotas are the latest and have been arrived upon by successive iterations every 5 -10 years. The Initial quotas of 1945, gave about 60% voting rights to G8 at that time.

About 21 countries are indebted to the IMF since it was started. Those in debt include Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Pakistan, South Africa and most of Africa.

I think the men who put the Monetary system of the world in place probably did it with the best of intentions, or maybe they were just plain evil. But the fact remains that this is the system we live in. They could never have fathomed the kind of world we live in today, the kind of technology that would exists. Think about it. We produce enough food every year to feed the whole world for a year and a half, yet people die of hunger.

I think I have given you enough to think about and shed some light on the shady monetary system of the world.

Will continue this post later :)

I am posting references so u can make intelligent comments instead of some gen chutiyaps ....

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2006/dec/06/business.internationalnews

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Monetary_Fund

http://www.imf.org/external/np/sec/memdir/members.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bretton_Woods_system

Vijay Mallya - The Biggest loooooser of the 21st century

2008-08-23T08:49:00.005+05:30

As of 2008 Vijay Mallya was ranked as the 962nd richest person in the world and the 42nd in India with a net worth of US $1.2 Billion. So naturally you may ask - How is he a looser ? (Note - I use loser with a double 'o' , because mallya has taken it to a whole new level.) The only successful business run by him was inherited from his father. This is the business that keeps him afloat. If you take away United Breweries, Mallya would be a bankrupt beggar.

1) Force India F1 - Mallya likes to make most of his business decisions when he is piss drunk. God knows what he was thinking. He paid 88 Million euros for the team, thats around $ 150 million. He is investing a further $ 100 Million in making the Delhi/Noida race track. It will actually be a street race like Monaco. LOL. Imagine a F1 street race in India. I can see the headlines now. All cars fail to finish- first time ever in the history of F1. Two drivers puked their hearts out and died at 300kmph on the bumpy Indian Roads. He acquired the worst team in Formula 1 and did something noone could have imagined- made it even worse. At least as Spykar Ferraris they used to finish races. Now its a big deal if both Force India cars remain in the race after the third turn of the first lap. As far as the track in Delhi goes ...I think a street race can never be successful in India, maintaining the track is just impossible. I dont know how he plans to make the investment profitable. For one thing, to get the crouds will be easy only in the first few years, lets face it F1 is only interesting on TV. I think he will collect toll tax from the drivers during the race. Once every lap. :)
In Fact I blame mallya's Force India Team for driving away FIIs from the Indian Stock Market. We should sue him for using the countries name and bringing disgrace to it.

2) Bangalore Royal Challengers - The whole team strategy goes something like this - Dravid and Jaffer will play solid defense in the first fifteen overs, and then in the last five overs ........THATS ALLLL ... with 9 wickets in hand ....we can hit 200 runs easily. The names that Mallya considered before naming his team were Bangalore KingFishers, Bangalore Bagpipers, Bangalore Old monks, Bangalore Zingaros and Bangalore Sand Pipers. But he went with the Royal Challengers Name cause basically all the teams were putting that 'King' factor in their team names....Rajasthan 'Royals' , chennai super'kings' , 'king's 11 punjab. As I said ...noone likes to put stress on brain when drunk. :) . A word of advice for Mr.Mallya- 30*6 = 180, You drunk bastard.

3) Kingfisher Airlines - Mallya said his airline would break even in 2007 when he launched it in 2005. Now he says it will break even in 2010-12. Industry experts believe he will not get there before 2015 even in the best case. He took a 46% stake in Deccan for Rs.1000 crores, a company with an accumulated loss of Rs.420 crores. In 2006 kingfisher made a loss of 240 crore and in 2007 it made a loss of almost 600 crore. I couldn't find the 2008 loss because it is not a listed company and they don't have to declare results. With rising oil prices and Mallya's knack for burning money, in my opinion it will easily cross the 1000 crore mark. They probably didn't declare results out of overwhelming shame. Last year Mallya looked into the possibility of an IPO. I don't think any investment bank would be dumb enough to touch that company with a stick from 10 meters away wearing a bullet proof suite. With no end in sight, Mallya continues with his "never say die as long as booze sells itself" attitude. With assets (read debt) of over 1billion and orders for new jets worth over 2 billion. I predict the total money sunk into Kingfisher is about $ 2 billion as of now. With yearly losses of about $ 200 million and the fuel price only rising there is no end in sight for this company. Now they are looking to get capital from Private Equity firms. I pity the fool who is dumb enough to buy Mallyas story and buy into the airline. I quote from a popular news site
"With combined accumulated losses of around Rs 2,000 crore ($ 500 million), the new entity created by the merger of unlisted Kingfisher Airlines with Deccan Aviation will have many strengths, but its balance sheet will not be one of them"
Total debt (including loss and money borrowed to buy assets) - about $1 Billion

4) Rajya Sabha MP- My ASS !!!
His party ( Janata Party, a breakaway faction of the original Janata Dal party) contested almost all of the 224 seats during the Karnataka State legislative election. He campaigned vigorously through the media, but his party failed to make any impact and did not win a single seat. Following the party's failure in the elections, it has been largely ignored by the media.
I searched for about an hour to find something useful he has done for the people of India. Couldn't find even one instance. Please let me know if you can find something that he has done that is even vaguely in the publics interest.

In conclusion I think Mallya should leave Business and Politics to the big boys and concentrate on doing what he does best - Get drunk in lavish parties, sell booze and distribute calendars of semi-naked chicks. Oh wait - naked chicks and booze sell themselves. Guess only thing left to do is get drunk!!! I don't blame him for his flamboyant ways. I would have probably done the same if I inherited UB group.

His whole business strategy seems to work on the concept of "Conties" as we called it in IIT . He basically wants to make contacts with High Networth Individuals (HNIs) and trick them into being a business partner, which seems to be the only logical reason to enter Politics, F1 and Aviation.
This pompous prick is sooooo in love with himself that he even named his son "Sidhartha Vijay Mallya". At this rate the only thing Sidhartha can look forward to inheriting is a truck load of debt and a Maaajar Hangover and headache.

An Idea to Stop Brain Drain !!!

2008-08-11T16:25:00.003+05:30

As I look at my class photo taken a month before i passed out from college, I realized that most of my class mates are in the US pursuing their MS. I consider myself to be extremely patriotic as all of you would have gathered from my previous posts. It is a fact, I admit, that all the world's crappiest jobs land up in India for some reason. Isn't it up to us as the brains of the country to ensure that the quality of jobs in India improves. When faced with such a monumental task, don't you think leaving the country is the easy way out. I understand that people who go abroad are the best of the best and they go abroad because they are really passionate and ambitious about their work and hence need better facilities for research and better quality of jobs. How many of you think this is the biggest reason behind brain drain ??? This, I am afraid to say, is not the biggest reason. The biggest reason in my opinion is greed. The biggest reason in my opinion is the fear of being seen as unsuccessful by your peers and family if you don't manage to migrate.The biggest reason is low self-esteem.

This problem is not confined to the IITs but to all good colleges in India. How low is our self -esteem as an Indian. We all say we are proud of our country. Is that only because you said the pledge over and over a thousand times from first standard to twelfth (India is my country, all Indians are my brothers and sisters. I Love my country. I am proud of its rich and varied heritage. I shall always strive to be worthy of it. )
I think it should be more like ...I love my country,but I'm not proud of its poor and overly-varied heritage and hence I shall strive to run away from it.

Having said all this, I am sorry to say, that I too have been guilty of considering the option of migrating on more than one occasion. But thanks to my gigantic balls, I have been able to resist it so far.

So how do we stop brain drain ??? I think a good idea would be to play this Lucky Ali song on all college campuses in India.

Anjani Rahoein Mein

Anjani Rahoein Mein Tu Kya Dhoondhanta Phire,
Door Jisko Samjha Wo To Paas Hai Tere,
Saans Mein Hawa, Jaan Mein Zameen,
Dil Mein Khulaa Aasmaan..aa.aa..
Pyaar Hai Khuda, Pyaar Hai Khushiii
Pyaar Se Hai Doono Jahan...
Tera Ye Aashiyana ..aa..
Mera Bhi Aashiyana ..aa..

O Anjani Rahon Mein Phir Kya Dhoondhanta Phire,
Door Jisko Samjha Wo To Paas Hai Tere,
Ghoomta Raha... Door Tu Kahinnn...
Udate Baadlon... Ki Tarahh...
Kahin Se Tujhe..Aai Hai Sada..aa..
Laut Ke Aaa Ab Jaraaa...
Tera Ye Aashiyana ..aa..
Mera Bhi Aashiyana ..aa..

Woh Jhilmilati Aakhein ... Bholi Si Ada...
Who Dheere Dheere Chal Ke Lehrati Hawa...aein...
Hamkon Le Jaaye Wahan...
Jahan Ho Ghar Apna ..Ooo..
Teri Yaadoein Mein Paaya Hai
Aaj Toh..oo... Milne Ka Din Hai Aaya Aaya...

Saans Mein Hawa... Jaan Mein Zameen...
Dil Mein Khulaa Aasmaan..Aa.Aa..
Pyaar Hai Khuda Pyaar Hai Khushi
Pyaar Se Hai Dono Jahan..Aa..
Tera Ye Aashiyana ..aa..
Mera Bhi Aashiyana ..aa..

Anjani Rahon Mein Tu Kya Dhoondhanta Phire...
Door Jisko Samjha Who To Paas Hai Tere...

Hummm..Hmmm...Hummm.Mmm..
Hummm..Hmmm...Hummm.Mmm..
Hummm..Hmmm...Hummm.Mmm..
Hummm..Hmmm...Hummm.Mmm..
Oooo..Oo..Ooo.Oo....

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

2008-08-01T14:18:00.004+05:30

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology, proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper- A Theory of Human Motivation . It is best represented in a pyramid diagram with the most basic needs at the bottom.

I came across this theory in one of my Financial Management Classes - Introduction to management, in my third year. Now I know what you must be thinking - " Classes and you ???!!!!! @##%%$^ ". The truth is, even though my overall attendance in IIT could not have exceeded 30% in the best case, I quite enjoyed this class and never missed a class in this course. The fact that it was thought by the only attractive, good looking female prof in IIT Madras had very little to do with it.( Those of you who took the course with me , remember Sangamitra Bhattacharya ?? )

Leaving my crushes aside for a minute, This diagram really grabbed my attention. It put everything I had ever thought about life and society into perspective. I began to think .... although that might be hard to believe. Firstly, where do I stand in this pyramid ?? and more importantly, What will I do when I get to the top of the Pyramid. Will I have anything to look forward to when I'm at the top ???

The most basic need according to Maslow are Food water and shelter. People move up the pyramid as they get older. After the basic needs comes the need to be safe, secure and loved.
After that comes the need to boost your self esteem, EEEEgo .

As far as I am concerned ... The bottom Four levels of the pyramid give a classic explanation for how people get dragged into the " Rat Race " . The world economy is a Big well oiled Machine owned by a few major corporations and people are viewed as gears rubbing against each other keeping the machine moving, and Maslow's theory is a tool in the hands of Managers to make their sub-ordinate's life miserable. I think profits without conscience is just a waste of the world's resources. I'm not a pessimist and I'm not a communist, I just describe the world as I see it.

To answer the first question, Where am I in the pyramid ?
I like to think I am at the " Experience purpose, meaning and realizing all inner potential stage ".
If you examine the pyramid closely you will understand that it is possible to move up as well as down the pyramid. It is also possible to skip a few levels and aim for the top directly. For example, when you decide you want to get into IIT, You skip the first three levels and go straight to fulfilling your Esteem Needs. When you achieve the Esteem needs, the needs below are automatically taken care of, or so you think. A saint or sadhu might ignore all the levels and aim for self actualization. He might or might not get it, but the point is that people very rarely realize that they can skip a few levels once in a while. I think this tendency is what keeps people from realizing their true potential in life.

The second question is much more philosophical and difficult to answer than the first one.
What do you do when you have reached the top? what is your motivation to keep living, to wake up every morning and go through the same routine of mundane tasks ? Is there even such a thing as realization of truth or do all people live and die chasing this mirage ?
When a person has reached the top, has he really made a differance to the world or has he just satisfied his own selfish needs ? How long will people remember him after he is dead ? How long will the human race survive ? Aren't human beings completely insignificant when viewed as a part of the larger Universe ?

To answer all these questions I will quote whatever ""Self actualization "" I have experienced so far ( courtesy - Middle's Blog )

" You are not the money you make, You are not the car you own, You are not the school/college you went to, You are not the chick you bang etc. You are simply the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world. It doesn’t matter, you were crap, organic matter, into which life was induced for some reason, and that life shall be taken away again for some reason, if any. So we are propelled into an essence-less existence. But what makes this fundamentally pointless journey meaningful are the two great gifts we have: intellect and sexuality. So concentrate and satiate either one or both, things should fall into place. "

So in my opinion the Maslow's theory is a theory of motivating people, but not a road map to happiness in life. To be happy in life you need to fulfill only two needs , intellect and sex. To represent both these things in a diagram would be something like this ......

Why India isn't afraid of TERRORISTS !!!! A personal letter to OSAMA BIN LADEN

2008-07-26T20:32:00.011+05:30

26/7/2008

To,
OSAMA BIN LADEN
HEAD, Al-Queda
SOME SHIT HOLE in N-W PAKISTAN

You fucking PUSSY,

SUBJECT : You are a pussy and INDIA is not afraid of you.

I write this letter as Bangalore was victim to 8 blasts yesterday and 5 people were killed. There have been 16 blasts in Ahmadabad and 15 people died so far. That is 24 blasts and 20 people dead. At this rate it will only take you 1.5 Billion bombs to defeat us. At an average of 10 bombs a day (10 people /day ) ( 3650 people / year ) it will only take you around 500,000 years to kill us all. That is, if we don't catch your ass first and fry it .
If you think you can make us submit by terrorizing us, you are terribly mistaken.
Let me show you why we are not afraid.

If you aren't too dumb to read this, you will understand that road accidents kill 189,000 Indians every year. You at your maximum best can do 4000 per year. (In these estimates I'm assuming you can plan and execute serial blasts everyday. Can you ??? )
Thus the probability of any Indian dying doest change for all practical purposes since your contribution to death in India is miniscule. Rats cause more death than you. You are competing with viruses and bacteria and fat and diarrhoeal diseases. AND you are losing. You are losing to SHIT man, you are worse than Diarrhoea.

I can understand your pain. You are unhappy that the government won the trust vote and India will go ahead with the US Nuclear deal. The way I see it you just wrote your own death sentence. Cause the US just sends a few thousand troops to Afghanistan and Iraq and Pakistan, You have just pissed off the second largest army in the world by number of troops, and the US is very far away from you, we on the other hand can just walk into Pakistan or Afghanistan. Both the states that were affected by the blasts, Karnataka and Gujarat are ruled by BJP. You can only pray that they don't come to power in a year from now, cause when they do Modi might become defence minister or external affairs minister or something and then where will u hide ??
If you are smart you will give up now and hand yourself over to India so that you may receive a swift and humiliating and painful death so that you may spend you eternal life in HELL.
You think you are liked by Indian Muslims but you are wrong. This is a secular country and we all know that.

FUCK YOU !!! YOU PUSSY !!! ,

Stick Pees Against the WInd

2008-03-24T12:13:00.002+05:30

My Crappy Artwork

2008-03-24T12:05:00.003+05:30

Religion ? Will I go to hell or heaven ?

2008-03-03T16:02:00.003+05:30

I am an atheist. The Idea of religion and god is completely out of the scope of my understanding. There are just too many loose ends in the theory. Take any religion; there are some common questions that they all fail to answer satisfactorily. For example: the proof of the existence of god? The fact that there is no scientific support for the theories? The fact that all religions have a human beginning?

All religions began at some point in time in the last few hundred or thousand years with a man who called himself a godsend, a prophet of some kind, with the divine god given ability to communicate with god. Then he writes a book that contains all the teachings of god. He writes about the idea of hell and heaven and god and devil, good and evil. As if this wasn’t enough he gives us a set of rules that god wants us to follow if we want to be good and gain passage to heaven in the after life. This book after a few hundred years becomes legend and people start believing that this god person did actually exist. That he is all knowing and powerful. Then man fears god and follows his rules. And in all this time, no one had the brains or the audacity or the curiosity to ask, “Hey! Wait a minute…. Does god have a say in all this?? He has never spoken to me or given me any rules. Why should I just take another mans word for it. Maybe god doesn’t exist. Maybe this prophet dude was lying or just playing an elaborate joke on us. Maybe there is no hell or heaven or rebirth. Maybe when you die, you just die.” But by this time this hypothetical man would be convicted of having committed a sin and burned on the cross.

The interesting thing is that different gods and religions have different rules, different rituals. So in one religion being a non-vegetarian is ok but in another it is naaat. In one religion polygamy is ok, in the other its naaat So this completely contradicts “ THE ONE GOD “ theory that they teach in Schools of secular countries like India, because we have the freedom to choose whatever religion we like and the freedom to practice it too. ( I say naaat because I’m an Ali G fan !!! If you still don’t get it, watch BORAT. That shit is just too funny. ).

The world population is divided into many religions. Christianity has the largest following. Second is Islam. Any guesses for third ??? Its atheism and then comes Hinduism in fourth place. The reason for the number of Atheists being greater than the number of Hindus is that China is an atheist country. There is no religious freedom in China. In Chinese schools they teach “There is no god and you are an idiot and a dumass if you think there is one.” This is what the Chinese follow because this is what Chairman Mao wrote in his little red book. ( Which is ironical because I’m sure that in a few thousand years Chairman Mao will probably become a legend in China and some may even go to the extent of calling him a prophet and his little red book Holy. )

I find that god and religion are a product of Human psychological evolution over time. It is the result of sheer stupidity and fear. A way to institutionalize mankind and their way of thinking. I say it is stupid because people buy into the idea easily because they like to justify everything that they can’t explain as the work of god, instead of being curious and trying to find out the root cause of phenomenon that they can’t explain. So when a kid goes to his parents and asks “ Where do babies come from???” His parents find it easier to say “ God sends them.” instead of bothering to explain, which is understandable, but saying “God did it” when asked “ Why does GHATTU have such a Faaat Ass ????” ( This is GHATTU’s Orkut Profile…

http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=18256963503049763016

He is one year senior to me and happy being a nigger in the USA nowadays. When I try to picture GATTU in the USA, here is what it looks like in my head……

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgzjQ5PYw2o

But I will dedicate an entire post to him later :) )

So coming back to the main question….Will I go to hell or heaven ???

I have broken a lot of rules of my religion. Too many to count. I will probably go to hell. But then I love myself and I love my life. The whole point of life is to live in the present. Besides I don’t think that far into the future anyway. I guess since I’m going to hell anyway there is no point changing the way I live now. Long live The Great ADI . (By long live I mean Forever…..)

Comments anyone ??? Maybe I’m not damned. Maybe I can change. Maybe there is still hope for me ? Maybe I will go to heaven after all……

IIT and the Myth about brand names.

2008-02-29T20:02:00.004+05:30

I am posting this to give solace to the millions of people who don't make it into IIT. I am going to reveal all in this post about the truth behind IIT's brand name.

People in general think that IITians are some kind of gods with insane mathematical capability and shrewdness. They think that there is nothing an IITian cant achieve. Even at work I find that most people are extremely cautious around IITians. They have this inferiority complex for no apparent reason. I don't know what causes this behavior and maybe I shall never find out. I think these people are scared that we will go on to be better than them and that there is no way they could even dream of competing with us.

Now for the truth behind the brand name :

1) It is not the people who pass the IIT JEE that make the IITs great , It is the 99% of people who don't make it that make IITs great.

A person who fails to get past the exam goes back home and tells his parents and relatives, " Damn. That exam is so tough, only a guy with an IQ of 200 or so can crack it. " If he were telling the truth, he would say something like, " I should have paid more attention in class when the teacher was teaching me calculus. I failed because I dint work hard enough and because I'm a loser and a chootiya . "
But no one likes to tell their parents that they are dumb and ruin their dreams, so they go with the "exam is too tough" explanation, which only goes on to inflate the IITians are gods view.

I think that there are a few guys in the top 500 ranks in the JEE who are truly genius . Anyone who gets a rank of over 2000 is lucky to be there and they know it too. Its a matter of 5 marks- rank 2000 to rank 5000. Most of the people are there because the fee is cheap and they want to make back the money their parents gave to the government as taxes. I know I did.

2) The alumni

The alumni of the IITs hold some of the highest leadership positions in many of the worlds largest corporations. They became leaders because they used the IIT Brand name to get ahead in the beginning their careers . Once they reached a respectable place in the company . IITs site their names to prove their own greatness. It is a vicious circle. IIT makes IITians great and then IITians make IIT great . Yeah thats the truth about the whole matter. Thats my 2 cents anyway.

3) We the IITians

When people go around boosting your ego and singing praises, do we discourage them? Do we tell them " We are like everyone else, just a bit smarter :) " ?

Nooooo

Cause the simple truth is that we like it when people sing our praises and inflate our egos. "If you want to worship me, go ahead , I'm not gonna stop you". We cant stand it if someone says something about us that is degrading and isnt true, but no man in his right mind would stop someone from praising him no matter how wrong or undeserved that praise may be.

So in my view the above three factors are what make IIT great. It is not the thousands of IITians who go abroad and become slaves to the US economy to satisfy their greed , or the thousands in IT companies back home who make it great. In fact we don't make it great at all. It is the millions who have never even seen an IITian or spoke to one, never been inside an IIT or anywhere near it, but nonetheless praise IITs and IITians. We owe our greatness to these unsung heroes and we are toooooo smart to stop them or correct them.

HAIL IIT . JAI HIND

The Great Indian Budget 2008

2008-02-29T16:15:00.005+05:30

1) Taxes reduced - $ NAICE
Huge tax cuts, brilliantly done, everyone is happy but I'm sorry mister finance minister, you wont win the next elections.

There is this theory about elections in India that I formulated.
In a country of a billion people about 700 million people at least are bound to be pissed off at all times because they are jealous of the 30% who are well off. Thus 70% of the population is always pissed off. Anyone who is pissed off will obviously vote for a change of government. If these people were smart, they would try to solve their own problems instead of waiting for the government to provide them livelihood. Since we Indians like our problems being solved by someone else, this situation isnt going to change anytime soon. So for the next elections it is -- BJP zindabad !!!

2) Small Cars and Two wheelers to cost less - $ Naice

Please fuck up the already fucked up infrastructure. It takes 2 hours to travel 5 kms in Bombay during peak traffic hours. A time will come in India, in the not so far future, when every Indian will have 2 cars and 4 Bikes and No Roads and No Oil . OOOIIIIILLLL - The three letter word that is completely raping the Indian Economy. The reason for our huge fiscal deficit. The bulk of our Imports. Why don't we just attack one of the oil countries like the US ... We have the fucking Bomb !!! We don't take shit from Nobody !!!!

Lets attack Iran, the US wants to do it anyway. Let us form a "coalition" of anti-terrorist, freedom fighting- fuck islam, mujahiddin, jihadi- food for oil giving countries. We can name it the CATFFFIMJFFOGC .

So instead of giving 60,000 crores to the farmers lets use that money to take over Iran and on the way to Iran we could fuck Pakistan as well .... When we have finished our conquest, we will sell their oil and feed our farmers ( Oil - for - food ) thus ending the crisis.

Make me Finance minister fast !!!!!

3) 50 crores for Tiger Conservation Fund - LOL

Hahahahhahahehehehheheheh

wait ...wait......

hahahahahahahhahaheheehhehehhahuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuuhuhuhu

OK OK ...Im fine now ....sorry ... I was laughing at the Irony. I think the money could have been put to good use were there any tigers left. It is a step to show that the government is trying to do something for the tiger without actually doing anything.

The days of the beautiful wild cat is numbered. If you think that 20 years from now you can take your kids to the zoo and watch tigers , U ARE DREAMING.

I am thinking of writing, directing and producing a movie called Jurassic Park-7 . It is about a story in the future. Hundreds of years from now they find a mosquito in tree sap that had bit a tiger . They extract the tiger-DNA from the mosquito and bring the cat back to earth on a small island. I havent decided on an ending yet ...maybe one you can help me and co-produce the movie with me. ;)

HOW TO MAKE MONEY, BUDGET-2008 STYLE

1) Take a loan.
Buy a farm. ( Less than 2 hectares )
Make money from the farm. (Grow weed )
Default on the Loan.
Let the government waiver the loan every 4 years . ( They do it only for land <2>80) businessman in India never discloses his income, to avoid paying taxes . Now we have hoards of millionaire businessmen with acres of land paying absolutely nothing to get the best "education" India has to offer for their children. The government policy is to reward the farmers who were too dumb to know what to grow and how to grow it. Now I know that the farmers in India are facing major problems, but rewarding the ones who arent productive is no way of encouraging the ones who are working their asses off to pay back their loans and who are actually helping the country.

The government waivers loans worth 60,000 crores and outlines 800 crores for power generation. Can you guess which way the country is headed ?

Disclaimer : I wish to acknowledge the work that Mr.Chidambram has done. I have a lot of respect for him and I think that there is no person more suitable for the job. The task that he faces is monumental and nobody in their right mind would take up this huge responsibility. So I thank him for carrying the burden and doing a great job.

Why I'm starting a Blog ?????Whyyyyyyyyy ?????

2008-02-29T15:59:00.001+05:30

It looks like there are a million things wrong with the world. Now I don't intend to change the world or make it a better place. My only intention is to bitch about everything and everyone that is wrong with the world in the hopes that my bitching will let me vent my frustrations a bit. I am doing this for a completely selfish reason.

Over the years I have lost touch with many of my friends and I would like to use this blog to keep them up to date with whats going on in my life and to get their comments and opinions about the common problems and thoughts that we share.

I would like to discuss current business and political events in India and the world from a comical viewpoint.

If you don't yet understand the rationale behind this blog ....what can I say ? Go FUCK URSELF